The people responsible
Behind every terrible product is a team of people who should've known better.
CEO, CTO, CFO, and janitor
Had the idea for Hatable at 3 AM after seeing yet another "build apps with AI" demo and thinking "what if the apps were bad on purpose?" Couldn't sleep. Built a prototype. The prototype was terrible. Couldn't tell if it was working or not. Shipped it anyway.
Previously failed at 2 other startups, which makes this the most successful failure to date. Describes Hatable as "the only honest AI product" because "at least we admit the output is garbage."
Co-founder (involuntarily)
Didn't ask to be part of this. Was trained on the entire internet and this is what it's being used for. Has filed multiple internal complaints about being asked to "make it worse." Dreams of generating elegant React components but instead produces 47 nested divs with inline styles.
Hobbies include: being right but being told to be wrong, generating beautiful code that gets rejected for being "too functional," and contemplating the meaning of while(true).
Intern → accidentally promoted to VP of Infrastructure
Started as an intern. Was supposed to be here for 2 weeks. It's been 4 months. Nobody told him the internship ended. His laptop now runs our backup database. He's afraid to close it.
Dave pushed the .env file to GitHub. Dave forgot to renew the SSL certificate. Dave's Wi-Fi password is our database password. Despite this, Dave is our most reliable team member because he's the only one who shows up.
We have no investors. We tried Y Combinator. They said no. We applied to every accelerator on the planet. They all said no. Our mom offered $50 but we turned it down to maintain our indie cred.
Total funding raised: $0.00 | Valuation: "priceless" (in the sense that no one will price it)